Things are not always as they appear to be, in many cases its more common we find out along the way that our paradigm is brutally changed even though we had good intentions in the beginning.
For some strange reason some people always start of by imposing or trying to force their view up on us and expect us to act accordingly or else, most of us knows it as bullying or master suppression techniques.
From time to time I find myself intimidated by others who uses it to get what they want, in most cases I react by making sure there is a cost for them by trying to use dirty tricks on me, in some cases I am not sure they know what they are doing, it seems the are doing what has been successful for them over time without regarding the cost on opposing sides.
In most cases you don’t have to put your self in harms way, in most cases you can use their momentum to bring them about or at least save up for a better day where you can counter by different means.
These business battles are always tilted to one side or another, and in most cases it will flipp back and forth in a long row of battles without any end in sight.
Every time in-between both sides are just trying to figure out how to outmaneuver the opponent or at least level out the cost in-between them.
If you do not act to stop it, you will sooner or later find yourself outmaneuvered or corned by costs in such a way that it is no longer affordable to continue the war.
The easy advice to give is to play for being more collaborative, but you cannot always signal that you are seeking collaboration without also signaling that you are prepared to fight for it if necessary, or at least make it costly for your opponent if they choose to be stubborn in your dialog.
Showing weakness can sometimes trigger aggressive behavior, in most cases its much better to stay as calm as possible while conducting your business and maneuvering yourself into a better possession.
It’s very easy to say you should stay professional, but in most cases we will all get aggravated or att least vindictive if we are not treated with some curtsy and respect.
In most cases I would recommend to have a mentor och an outside resource that you can tap into and get some help in what to do or in some cases not do.
Even consultants needs second opinions once in a while, don’t expect to be able to stay professional, after all we are all human and sometimes we can not control our own behavior as we want to.
With the benefits of hindsight we can always say we could have done something different, bytt that is not always possible due to different action trigger different reactions.
Once you realize you need to change your behavior and start to be more professional in what to do, then its more of a question what is needed to be done and how to do it effectively.
Don’t be afraid of ending relationships, it can be good for both of you, in some cases you can actually find a better relationship once its clear to your opponent that you are considering moving on or letting go.
Its amazing what can happen once you change yours and your opponent rules of engagement , at least it will set precedent for future business for better or for worse.
Christopher Bell Blomquist Consulting
Lead Negotiator Consultant